Perimenopausal Rage: Why It Happens and How to Take Back Control

Why Am I So Angry?

I stood at the smoothie counter, tapping my foot, willing the server to move faster. She clearly wasn’t a get-shit-done kind of person. Five minutes turned into ten. She spent more time chatting than actually making smoothies.

“Mum, can I have a—”

“NO.”

Sharp. Clipped. Immediate regret.

My son picked up on my mood instantly, stepping back, creating space. I wasn’t yelling, but the frustration in my voice was enough.

And here’s the thing—I didn’t even really know why I was this irritated. Sure, I was running late, and yes, she was slow as hell, but was that enough to send me into full-blown rage mode?

Probably not.

Yet, here I was. Tense. Irritable. Snapping at my kid.

As a mother, I strive to be calm and approachable—but perimenopause? It had other plans.

Sound familiar? Perimenopausal rage is real. The mood swings, the sudden irritability, the why-am-I-so-angry moments. And it’s not just about impatience—it’s about what’s happening inside our bodies.

Let’s break it down—why it happens, what it means, and how you can take back control.

The Science Behind Perimenopausal Rage

Hormonal Fluctuations: The Ultimate Mood Disruptor

As you enter your 40s, estrogen and progesterone levels start swinging unpredictably before declining altogether.

These fluctuations wreak havoc on brain chemistry and mood regulation:

🔹 Estrogen & Serotonin: Estrogen influences serotonin (the "feel-good" neurotransmitter). When oestrogen drops suddenly, serotonin plummets, leading to irritability, sadness, and emotional instability.

🔹 Progesterone & GABA: Progesterone has a calming effect because it increases allopregnanolone, a neurosteroid that activates GABA receptors—the same ones targeted by anti-anxiety medications.

• When progesterone declines, the brain loses this calming effect, leaving you feeling edgy, anxious, and reactive.

🔹 Cortisol & Stress Response: Lower progesterone also makes your HPA axis (stress system) more reactive, meaning minor annoyances trigger bigger emotional outbursts than before.

🔹 Blood Sugar Imbalance: As hormones fluctuate, blood sugar regulation is thrown off. Perimenopausal women become more sensitive to sugar, alcohol, and refined carbs, leading to sudden crashes, irritability, and energy dips.

💡 The Result? You’re more sensitive to stress, more prone to irritation, and your nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight mode.

How to Stop Perimenopausal Rage from Controlling You

If you’re tempted to throw your hands up and just ride this out—don’t.

There are real, actionable steps you can take to regulate your mood and stop feeling like you’re constantly on edge.

At Stronger in Midlife, I help women make small, impactful changes that add up over time. Our four key focus areas—diet, exercise, sleep, and stress—can help you manage perimenopausal rage.

By following the tips below, you might still feel the rage… but you won’t be ruled by it.

How Your Diet Can Help Regulate Mood & Hormones

Using food to balance hormones, stabilise blood sugar, and support gut health can turn down the volume on perimenopausal mood swings.

Here’s how:

1. Eat More Fibre for Estrogen Detox

Fibre binds to excess estrogen, helping your body clear it out before it wreaks havoc on your mood.

📌 Quick Tip: Add 1-2 tablespoons of ground flaxseeds to your smoothie, salads or yogurt daily.

2. Support Liver Detox with Cruciferous Vegetables

Your liver breaks down hormones, and supporting it with sulforaphane-rich veggies helps prevent excess oestrogen buildup.

📌 Quick Tip: Eat broccoli, Brussels sprouts, kale, and cauliflower—but let them sit 40 minutes after chopping to maximize sulforaphane levels.

3. Prioritize Protein & Healthy Fats

Protein and fats help stabilise blood sugar, fuel hormone production, and support muscle mass.

✅ Best Sources:

• Protein: Eggs, Greek yogurt, lean meats, fish, tofu.
• Healthy Fats: Avocados, olive oil, nuts, seeds, fatty fish.

📌 Quick Tip: Add a palm-sized portion of protein to every meal.

Lifestyle & Stress Management Strategies

1. Activate Your Vagus Nerve

The vagus nerve controls relaxation and stress resilience. Activating it calms your nervous system and reduces anger outbursts.

✅ How to Do It:

• Deep Breathing: Try 4-7-8 breathing (inhale 4 sec, hold 7 sec, exhale 8 sec).
• Cold Exposure: Splash cold water on your face or take a 30-second cold shower.
• Humming & Gargling: Stimulates the vagus nerve for instant relaxation.

📌 Quick Tip: Next time you feel rage building, take 3 slow, deep breaths before reacting.

2. Strength Training & Movement

Exercise boosts serotonin, reduces cortisol, and stabilizes mood.

✅ Best Types:

• Strength training – Preserves muscle & supports hormone balance. If your are already a gym goer - then start lifting small reps but HEAVY.
• Walking or jogging – Reduces stress & stabilises blood sugar - especially after meals!
• Yoga & Pilates – Engages breath control & nervous system regulation.

📌 Quick Tip: 10 minutes of movement daily can make a huge difference.

3. Prioritise Sleep

Sleep isn’t passive—it’s hormone therapy.

• Sleep regulates cortisol, estrogen, and insulin and our hunger hormones
• A consistent bedtime & wake-up time supports mood stability.

📌 Quick Tip: Try going to bed and waking up at the same time for 30 days and see how it changes your mood.

The Bottom Line: You Can Take Control

Perimenopausal rage is real, but it’s not permanent.

By understanding the hormonal shifts, neurotransmitter imbalances, and stress triggers, you can take small steps today to feel calmer, more balanced, and in control.

Your Next Steps:

✅ Prioritise protein, fibre & healthy fats
✅ Support your gut & oestrogen detox
✅ Try supplements like magnesium & omega-3s (see below)
✅ Practice stress-reducing techniques like breathwork & movement

🔥 Ready to take action? Download my 1-2-3 Meal Guide for simple, hormone-balancing meals!

Let’s make midlife your strongest chapter yet. 💪

Supplements for Mood & Hormonal Balance

Below is a guide that has helped many of my clients. While I don’t recommend every option for every woman, these strategies can be powerful tools. If you’re unsure which are right for you, I highly recommend consulting a specialist in women’s health for personalised guidance.Check out my 1:1 Stronger in Midlife program if you're looking for personalised guidance on the nutrition and fitness strategies that will support you best in midlife. Let’s create a plan that works for your body, your lifestyle, and your goals. 💪 Learn more here!

1. Magnesium: Nature’s Relaxant

Magnesium reduces cortisol, supports GABA, and calms the nervous system. Many perimenopausal women are deficient, which can worsen anxiety and irritability.

📌 Best Form: Magnesium glycinate or magnesium L-threonate (best for brain health).

2. DIM (Diindolylmethane) for Oestrogen Detox

Found in cruciferous vegetables, DIM helps shift oestrogen metabolism towards its less potent, more protective form.

📌 Who Should Use It? If you experience heavy periods, PMS mood swings, or oestrogen-dominance symptoms.

3. Adaptogens: Rhodiola & Ashwagandha for Stress Support

These herbs help regulate cortisol and balance stress hormones. Rhodiola is energising, while Ashwagandha has a calming effect on anxiety.

📌 Best for: Women experiencing high stress, fatigue, or burnout.

4. Omega-3s for Brain & Mood Stability

Omega-3s reduce inflammation, support dopamine and serotonin, and improve mood.

📌 Best Source: 1,000-2,000 mg of EPA & DHA daily from fish oil or algae-based supplements.

CONFUSED WITH WHAT SUPPLEMENT TO TAKE IN WHAT FORM?  

SUPPLEMENT SAVVY: The 40+ Woman’s Guide to Choosing Supplements That Actually Work

 CHECK IT OUT HERE FOR EARLY BIRD OFFER