Why Am I So Angry?
I stood at the smoothie counter, tapping my foot, willing the server to move faster. She clearly wasn’t a get-shit-done kind of person. Five minutes turned into ten. She spent more time chatting than actually making smoothies.
“Mum, can I have a—”
“NO.”
Sharp. Clipped. Immediate regret.
My son picked up on my mood instantly, stepping back, creating space. I wasn’t yelling, but the frustration in my voice was enough.
And here’s the thing—I didn’t even really know why I was this irritated. Sure, I was running late, and yes, she was slow as hell, but was that enough to send me into full-blown rage mode?
Probably not.
Yet, here I was. Tense. Irritable. Snapping at my kid.
As a mother, I strive to be calm and approachable—but perimenopause? It had other plans.
Sound familiar? Perimenopausal rage is real. The mood swings, the sudden irritability, the why-am-I-so-angry moments. And it’s not just about impatience—it’s about what’s happening inside our bodies.
Let’s break it down—why it happens, what it means, and how you can take back control.
As you enter your 40s, estrogen and progesterone levels start swinging unpredictably before declining altogether.
These fluctuations wreak havoc on brain chemistry and mood regulation:
🔹 Estrogen & Serotonin: Estrogen influences serotonin (the "feel-good" neurotransmitter). When oestrogen drops suddenly, serotonin plummets, leading to irritability, sadness, and emotional instability.
🔹 Progesterone & GABA: Progesterone has a calming effect because it increases allopregnanolone, a neurosteroid that activates GABA receptors—the same ones targeted by anti-anxiety medications.
🔹 Cortisol & Stress Response: Lower progesterone also makes your HPA axis (stress system) more reactive, meaning minor annoyances trigger bigger emotional outbursts than before.
🔹 Blood Sugar Imbalance: As hormones fluctuate, blood sugar regulation is thrown off. Perimenopausal women become more sensitive to sugar, alcohol, and refined carbs, leading to sudden crashes, irritability, and energy dips.
💡 The Result? You’re more sensitive to stress, more prone to irritation, and your nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight mode.
If you’re tempted to throw your hands up and just ride this out—don’t.
There are real, actionable steps you can take to regulate your mood and stop feeling like you’re constantly on edge.
At Stronger in Midlife, I help women make small, impactful changes that add up over time. Our four key focus areas—diet, exercise, sleep, and stress—can help you manage perimenopausal rage.
By following the tips below, you might still feel the rage… but you won’t be ruled by it.
Using food to balance hormones, stabilise blood sugar, and support gut health can turn down the volume on perimenopausal mood swings.
Here’s how:
Fibre binds to excess estrogen, helping your body clear it out before it wreaks havoc on your mood.
📌 Quick Tip: Add 1-2 tablespoons of ground flaxseeds to your smoothie, salads or yogurt daily.
Your liver breaks down hormones, and supporting it with sulforaphane-rich veggies helps prevent excess oestrogen buildup.
📌 Quick Tip: Eat broccoli, Brussels sprouts, kale, and cauliflower—but let them sit 40 minutes after chopping to maximize sulforaphane levels.
Protein and fats help stabilise blood sugar, fuel hormone production, and support muscle mass.
✅ Best Sources:
📌 Quick Tip: Add a palm-sized portion of protein to every meal.
The vagus nerve controls relaxation and stress resilience. Activating it calms your nervous system and reduces anger outbursts.
✅ How to Do It:
📌 Quick Tip: Next time you feel rage building, take 3 slow, deep breaths before reacting.
Exercise boosts serotonin, reduces cortisol, and stabilizes mood.
✅ Best Types:
📌 Quick Tip: 10 minutes of movement daily can make a huge difference.
Sleep isn’t passive—it’s hormone therapy.
📌 Quick Tip: Try going to bed and waking up at the same time for 30 days and see how it changes your mood.
Perimenopausal rage is real, but it’s not permanent.
By understanding the hormonal shifts, neurotransmitter imbalances, and stress triggers, you can take small steps today to feel calmer, more balanced, and in control.
✅ Prioritise protein, fibre & healthy fats
✅ Support your gut & oestrogen detox
✅ Try supplements like magnesium & omega-3s (see below)
✅ Practice stress-reducing techniques like breathwork & movement
🔥 Ready to take action? Download my 1-2-3 Meal Guide for simple, hormone-balancing meals!
Let’s make midlife your strongest chapter yet. 💪
Below is a guide that has helped many of my clients. While I don’t recommend every option for every woman, these strategies can be powerful tools. If you’re unsure which are right for you, I highly recommend consulting a specialist in women’s health for personalised guidance.Check out my 1:1 Stronger in Midlife program if you're looking for personalised guidance on the nutrition and fitness strategies that will support you best in midlife. Let’s create a plan that works for your body, your lifestyle, and your goals. 💪 Learn more here!
Magnesium reduces cortisol, supports GABA, and calms the nervous system. Many perimenopausal women are deficient, which can worsen anxiety and irritability.
📌 Best Form: Magnesium glycinate or magnesium L-threonate (best for brain health).
Found in cruciferous vegetables, DIM helps shift oestrogen metabolism towards its less potent, more protective form.
📌 Who Should Use It? If you experience heavy periods, PMS mood swings, or oestrogen-dominance symptoms.
These herbs help regulate cortisol and balance stress hormones. Rhodiola is energising, while Ashwagandha has a calming effect on anxiety.
📌 Best for: Women experiencing high stress, fatigue, or burnout.
Omega-3s reduce inflammation, support dopamine and serotonin, and improve mood.
📌 Best Source: 1,000-2,000 mg of EPA & DHA daily from fish oil or algae-based supplements.
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The 1,2,3 Meal Method Takes the Guesswork Out of Healthy Eating!